November 29, 2008

Vince Bond Jr.
vbond1@lsj.com

Chris Raftary assumed he would have to take it easy on 8-year-old Desmond Clark during his first foray into bowling.

A consummate competitor, Desmond used his first attempt to prove Raftary wrong and show him that bumper bowling was for amateurs.

Desmond, gripping the ball with both hands, heaved it down the center of the lane, dropping each pin for a strike.

Raftary, who has mentored Desmond through the Big Brothers Big Sisters program since July, said their weekly visits are full of priceless moments, whether it's an impromptu race through a jungle gym at a playground or a memorable basketball game.

To commemorate its 55th anniversary, Big Brothers Big Sisters Michigan Capital Region is calling on 55 other men like Raftary to spare a few hours and impact the lives of young males in the Lansing area during the "55 Men in 55 Days" campaign, which ends Dec. 25.

Raftary volunteered with Big Brothers Big Sisters this summer after the organization gave a presentation at his job. Raftary is a financial applications analyst at Jackson National Life.

"He doesn't have a male role model in his life," said Raftary, 23, of East Lansing. "It gives him someone to talk to."

Desmond said he looks forward to the time he spends with Raftary - going to movies and parks, as well as feeding Raftary's dog.

"He always takes me somewhere nice," Desmond said.

Edward Hagan Jr., executive director of Big Brothers Big Sisters Michigan Capital Region, said the recruiting drive will help the group shore up the number of male "Bigs," especially African-American and Hispanic men.

Around 200-225 men are active members, less than half the count of female volunteers.

Hagan attributes the dwindling numbers of male "Bigs" to the common misconception that men need special talents or have to be a certain age for consideration.

All a person needs, Hagan said, is to share some of the same interests as their "little."

"In a lot of cases, we haven't got the message to men that you don't need special talents. Whatever interests you have, there's a boy out there for you," Hagan said. "Seniors make tremendous big brothers. They have life experiences and the boys really look up to them."

Big brother Jon Leblanc, 28, of Lansing was matched with 8-year-old Darrion Moss, now a second-grader at Riddle Elementary School.

Leblanc said he wondered how he'd mesh with Darrion before their initial meeting, but those worries subsided after meeting the shy youngster.

"It's an amazing experience. It opened my eyes," Leblanc said. "I feel like I'm helping him. It's pretty easy to hang out with him."

Having a big brother also solves a dilemma many young males face, Hagan said.

"It's hard to have a man-to-man talk with your mother," he said.

Role model: "Big brother" Chris Raftary (right), 23, and "little brother" Desmond Clark, 8, have been together since July.

(Greg Deruiter/Lansing State Journal)

How to join

To commemorate its 55th anniversary, the Big Brothers Big Sisters Michigan Capital Region is looking to recruit 55 men during its "55 Men in 55 Days" campaign.

The recruiting drive ends Christmas Day. Program officials said they have a special need for African-American and Hispanic males.

Those interested can call the Big Brothers Big Sisters Capital Region at 372-0160.